Self-love - what does it really mean?

"Loving yourself isn't vanity. It is sanity."

Self-love - the regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Easy enough to understand, yes but why is it so difficult to do?

Many aspects of your life come to mind when you ask yourself this question, and maybe it's based solely on the fear that it's something you won't be able to do.

Childhood and Growing up I myself grew up with three older brothers, regardless of being the odd one out of the four I tried my best to join in in their boyish behaviour and never backed down. I knew I had to prove my worth. I was fiery and confident in myself, and I let my brothers know this.

I went through my young school years with fine, thin and wild hair, chubby cheeks and a gap in my teeth to match. My look was unkempt with rolled up shirt sleeves and skirts un-shapely.

I can remember being the tender age of 11 and looking in the school mirrors with tears in my eyes. The boy I liked had asked someone else to the school disco. Was it because I'm not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not girly enough?

I then started high school and for the first couple of years my once fiery and confident attitude had seemed to have vanished. I was now doing what I had to do to fit in. My once enjoyment of playing football and playing video games had now evolved into making sure I had the nicest clothes and makeup in order to make sure people liked me. By the age of 13, I had gotten braces fitted, dyed my hair a prettier colour and started looking at diets to get my size 8 body at the time down to a 6.

But now being the age of 19 in the prime of teenage and almost adult life these things don't quite matter as much. Of course there are still times where I look in the mirror and criticize what I see. The difference is I now realize that I need to love myself for the things that I am and stop hating myself for the things that I'm not.

The Instagram Generation

We're currently in generation where snapping a shot of something and sharing it on Instagram is more important than actually appreciating it in real life.

The amount of likes you get defines your social status - not enough likes? Delete it and put it on another time.

A crucially important factor for the Instagram generation is how people see you and how you can gear it to be a positive impression of yourself. The purpose of Instagram is to promote the highlights of your life, and often people will focus on parties, holidays, times with friends. They'll rarely reflect when you are sad, depressed or lonely and entirely reflect the positive side of your life.

Is this just a false representation of ourselves? Showing only the good and not the bad, making sure your photos are up to the standard before posting them - whether that be just sticking a filter on or entirely editing the way you look.

Our current culture teaches us that our worth is made in looks, money and status and sex and relationships. But if you base your self-worth on this then it will only leave you questioning that if you don't have these, are you not enough?

Changing the way you think...

What we perceive of ourselves is greatly a reflection on how we end up living our lives. We need to stop the self-perception that we aren't good enough and start focusing on loving ourselves.

Confidence, self-love and self-acceptance comes from within, once you are willing to accept this the rest will follow. It will open your awareness to the opportunities, resources and people that can help you progress onto your self-love path.

#selflove #love #vanity #instagram